Dear Dad, I forgive you

Dear Dad,

I forgive you for being angry. I forgive you for coming home from work and being disappointed with the family and the life that you came home to. I forgive you for threatening to give up on your family and leave me behind. I forgive you for the nights you lost your cool. I forgive you for the tantrums and the screaming. There were nights when I was afraid to be around you but also afraid to leave your side because of what you might do. The uncertainty that consumes me. The fear of being abandoned. The fear of never being good enough. The anxiety. The rebellion. “When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it. And my mother swore that she would never let herself forget. And that was the day that I promised I’d never sing of love if it does not exist.” My childhood has left a mark on my heart. A scar. But I forgive you Dad. I forgive you for the nights you drank too much. I forgive you Dad because you are scarred from your past as well. We are dealt a certain hand and we do the best we can with the cards we were given. I forgive you because I know your love for me is infinite. I know that you are proud of me. And I am immensely proud of you. For working to improve your marriage. For working to become a better husband and father. For supporting your family. For not giving up on us.

With love,

Your daughter

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