Dear Brother, I forgive you

Dear Brother,

I remember laughing with you till my stomach hurt. I remember leaning on you for support and asking for your guidance. I remember playing pranks on each other, singing songs and dancing to the beat of our own music. But I can’t remember why or even when everything changed and it all went away. You left me out to dry. I became the enemy instead of the friend. You put others before me and you continue to put everyone and anyone before me even today. You pushed me away. You forgot about me. I needed you and you weren’t there. You were nowhere to be found and I’m still searching for you today. It hurts me when you snap at me. It hurts me when you argue with me. It hurts me when you talk to me disrespectfully, as if I mean nothing to you… As if I am not worthy of your respect… Acting as though you are better than me and better than everyone else. I find it incredibly challenging to forgive you. But here I am, writing this letter in an attempt to start fresh… to wipe the slate clean… knowing full well that the future holds more disappointment and betrayal on your behalf. I forgive you for judging me. I forgive you for looking down at me instead of looking into my eyes. I forgive you for ignoring me. I forgive you for not spending time with me. I forgive you for wanting me out of your life in attempt to leave the past behind. I forgive you for yelling at me. I forgive you for drinking too much and using drugs. I forgive you for being selfish. And I also take responsibility for the destruction of our relationship. It takes two to tango. And it takes two to ruin a relationship. I am sorry for arguing with you. For blaming you. For hating you. I am sorry for pressuring you and expecting you to fix things. I am sorry for allowing this fight to go on for so long. I am sorry for speaking badly about you to others. I am sorry for being embarrassed by you and disgusted by you. Because you truly are an amazing person. You are extremely smart. You are a brilliant math teacher. You are talented. You are an excellent chef. You have a beautiful voice. You are the best volleyball player I know. Despite all the bumps and bruises, I have always looked up to you. You are my big brother and I love you. I want you to be happy. I want you to have peace. I want you be proud of yourself. I want you to know unconditional love. I want to be your friend. I want to be someone you can turn to for support. Today is a new day. God bless you.

Always,

Your sister

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